As easily entertained as I am (which is clearly exhibited by the nature of this post), every now and then I run out of ways to preoccupy myself onboard long-haul flights. My typical in-flight “past-times” include (yes, sadly these are in order): eating, sleeping, watching a movie, reading a magazine or two, listening to my iPod, “working” on the computer (aka, rearranging desktop items/deleting files for the most part), stretching, and completing the crossword/soduku puzzles found in the back of the in-flight magazines.
However, if the flight is long enough, and I’ve run out of things to do/am starting to feel delirious, I sometimes find myself aimlessly browsing the Sky Mall catalog for some guaranteed laughs. I apologize if I offend anyone with this post (for instance, the owners of these items), but below are some items that prompted me to stop and say, “WTF?!? Do people really order these things?”
Solowheel: I’m sorry, but in this day and age, there are much better ways to arrive in style by spending $1799 on transportation. Ahem,InternationalBusinessClass.
Flair Hair Visor: Please for the love of miles, save yourself the embarrassment, and do not buy this troll headpiece. If you’re still looking for a quick solution, turn a few pages ahead and order Toppix for just $2 more, which claims to give you a full head of [spray on] hair in the same amount of time.
Savvy-Flex Wallet: The ridiculous attribute about this item that caught my eye is the claim saying “fat wallets are the leading cause of back problems”. I don’t know about you, but I’d take a little bit of back pain from a fat wallet any day… cha ching!
UpRight Sleeper: This device looks painful in more ways than one. As an adult, this frightens me, but just imagine how well you’ll sleep when small children seated nearby are frightened…
Life Size Giant Bigfoot Statue: Yeah, because worrying about if the flag is included is what you should be concerned about when purchasing this item…
Hot Dog Leash: Why, just why? The dog’s expression even says it all.